


Gabriel Finds Out

by amateurexorcist



Series: Raphael!Crowley AUverse [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is So Done (Good Omens), Blood and Injury, Brotherly Angst, Crowley Has Issues (Good Omens), Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Crowley has Trauma from the Fall (Good Omens), Family Drama, Family Reunions, Gabriel Has Issues (Good Omens), Gabriel Redemption (Good Omens), Gabriel has a VERY BAD DAY, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No beta we fall like Crowley, Other, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley, Protective Older Brothers, Secrets, Wingfic, aziraphale/crowley is kinda background tbh, bc this fic is actually about gabriel having the worlds biggest emotional breakdown, kind of?? wings make an appearance and theyre also a pretty big deal, they are very much in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-01 07:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21448090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amateurexorcist/pseuds/amateurexorcist
Summary: Raphael had been missing for over 6000 years.Until he wasn't.Alternate title: Gabriel has a cosmic emotional breakdown
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Gabriel & Raphael (Good Omens)
Series: Raphael!Crowley AUverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546225
Comments: 58
Kudos: 490





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> michael makes an appearance again, and so i once again feel the need to point out that i write them as nb
> 
> Also in case u were wondering the order of the archangel sibs from oldest to youngest goes:
> 
> Lucifer - Michael - Gabriel - Uriel - Raphael/Crowley

Rumors traveled fast in Heaven. And there was a new one making the rounds.

Of course, that rumor being the fact that Aziraphale was courting a demon. And they were certainly more than rumors. The two of them had been seen _fraternizing _in a park, they had even _kissed._ Like any former boss would be, Gabriel was rather angry that The Traitor had gotten himself into a relationship with The Enemy.

He was also rather upset by the way his sister and sibling had reacted.

"I am not doing recon." He crossed his arms. Michael slowly pinched their nose and took a deep breath. Uriel opened her mouth to reply but Michael waved at her to be quiet and let them talk.

"We don't know what these two are capable of, they survived Hellfire and Holy water respectively." They said, looking Gabriel in the eyes. He sneered at them, they rolled their eyes in response. "It has to be one of us to keep an eye on them, because we're the strongest of the Angels. And _you _are Aziraphale's former superior and Head of Earth Affairs. It's your job."

Gabriel tried to give him one of his Glares. The ones that made lesser angels and any demon shake with fear. Of course, it didn't work on his older sibling.

"Gabriel, please. Its just for a year." Michael snapped. "You can handle Earth for a year. And you'll have weekly visits to Heaven during that time."

"But what about R-"

"Gabriel." Michael sighed. "I miss him too, and I'm glad you've been looking for him. But its been over six thousand years, nothing is going to change in one more. And if he does show up, if we do find him, I'll come get you."

Gabriel didn't say anything, he just bit his tongue. Michael was right, but that didn't mean he had to be happy about it.

"Have a nice year, Michael. You too Uriel." He spat out his words. Uriel rolled her eyes, but Michael kept their face steeled.

"Have a nice year, brother."

As it turned out, watching The Traitor and The Enemy was very, very boring.

He had to take precautions at first, of course. Which kept him distracted for a few weeks. He had to keep a close eye on them, but he couldn't get too _physically close. _So he was kept occupied for a little bit by waiting for them to go somewhere so he could plant spyware. The bugs were an odd cross between ethereal and technological, but they did their job very well. Once The Traitor's bookshop, The Enemy's flat, and their usual table at The Ritz was sufficiently bugged, he had nothing to do.

The thing about The Traitor and The Enemy was that they never did _anything._

It was the same old same old, every day.

He imagined that the two of them enjoyed the easy domesticity and routine, but it was so incredibly _dull._ There was so little variation. Sometimes they would pay a visit to Tadfield, going for a flight in the woods or checking up on The Antichrist. But that was the most variation that there was.

Gabriel was only one month into his recon mission, and it was already looking like it was going to be a very long year.

He learned a lot of useless information about them as well. Such as the fact that The Enemy liked to sleep for absolutely egregious lengths of time. And that The Traitor had an affinity to books of all types, including pulp fiction and trashy romance, not just the classics.

He also began to develop some little theories about them, out of sheer boredom. Like the fact that he was pretty certain that The Enemy had Fallen for the sin of Sloth, which was the most underwhelming of the Seven Deadlies if one were to ask Gabriel. The Enemy did do a lot of sleeping, and even more wandering around doing nothing of importance.

All in all, Gabriel was so bored that he just might discorporate. That was one of the reasons he had been so reluctant to do reconnaissance. It was just plain boring. A lot of sitting around waiting for something that may or may not happen.

The two of them had gone to Tadfield again, giving Gabriel the opportunity to poke around the bookshop for the first time in a week.

Nothing looked out of place. Nothing new. Nothing missing.

He sighed, rubbing his face. His next check-in with Heaven was just tomorrow. He couldn't wait to get this day over with. Gabriel was about to leave the upstairs portion of the bookshop, which he was fairly certain was off-limits to customers, when he caught something out of the corner of his eye. Something new.

A paper box, sitting on an low, easily-accessed shelf. It was very long but narrow, and decently deep. It looked like it may have once been white, but had since slowly faded into a washed out yellow. He picked it up. It felt very light, but something was definitely inside it, as he heard a small _thump _as something on the inside bumped against a wall of the box.

Curiosity piqued, Gabriel thumbed it open.

Inside were a handful of feathers. And not just any feathers, _Angel _feathers. And they were such a pure shade of black that they seemed to soak up the light around them, like black holes.

_Raphael's _feathers.

His hands were shaking uncontrollably. Hard enough that the box could have fallen to the ground, if he hadn't set it down on a nearby table. He took a feather out of the box, turning it over in his fingertips. Sure, some angels had dark wings. But nobody else had feathers that were pure black. Nobody except for Raphael. Who nobody had seen since the Fall.

How had The Traitor and The Enemy ended up with a box of Raphael's feathers? He didn't spend long mulling over it when he remembered a conversation a few days ago that one of his bugs had picked up.

_"Damnit... Hngh." That was The Enemy. _

_Papers rustled. "Is something wrong, dear?" _

_"Agh, my wings. I think I'm going through a molt. Itches like Heaven." _

_One of them tsked, probably The Traitor. "Could I have a look at them?" _

_"If you want." There was a moment of silence, followed by feathers rustling. _

_More silence, for longer this time, then a sigh of relief. "Thanks, angel." _

_"No problem." Something thumped around, something that sounded like cardboard. _

_"What are you doing?" The Enemy spoke again. _

_"If you're going through a molt, it'll be easier to hold onto the feathers until you're done then destroy them all at once." The Traitor said, there was a sound like something being placed on a shelf. "It takes a lot of effort to get everything ready to deal with them." _

Gabriel moved with uncharacteristic stiffness. He settled the box, with its cover still on, back in its spot. But he still held the feather he had picked out. A million small details were buzzing in the back of his head. Like the fact that the demon had red hair, just like Raphael. And wore sunglasses wherever he went, Raphael had an unnatural eye color and the demon was an Earth agent, so it would make sense to hide something like that.

He didn't know how he ended up back at the small flat that he had been using as a base of operations. And he still was hardly cognizant up until the point when he was holding a ringing phone in his hand. The person on the other side thankfully picked up.

"Does an Angel's wing color change when they Fall?" He didn't bother to say hello.

"Izzz zzat zze Archangel Gabbbriel? Who gavvvvve you zzzizzz numbbber?"

"Just answer the damn question, Beelzebub." He snapped.

"No. Vvvhy vvvould our vvvings change? Zzatz Zzupi-" He hung up halfway through their reply and slowly set the phone down.

Gabriel glanced back at the feather he still held in his hand, smoothing a finger across its surface. It's jet black color was off-putting compared to the pale grays and lavenders of the flat. It stood out like a sore thumb. Very dark and demonic-looking, now that he thought about it, but he shoved that thought to the back of his mind because this was _Raphael. _His brother. 

...

What could he do? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actual representation of gabriel immediately after this chapter concludes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYMHriEM-Ts


	2. Chapter 2

Out of all of them, why _Raphael. _

The flat had a bed. It had to. In case a human happened to wander along and peer inside. It was just to blend in. To avoid suspicion. He didn't need it, but now he was using it. He laid flat on his back and stared up at the ceiling.

_Why him? _

Gabriel was prideful, very prideful in fact. And Uriel was wrathful. And Michael was both of those things in smaller amounts, but the three of them hadn't Fallen. No. Raphael had. Raphael who had always been nothing but kind, merciful, and loving to everybody he met.

Gabriel dug the heels of his palms into his eye sockets, hard enough for sparks of light to shoot across his vision.

Raphael had always been smiling, for as long as Gabriel had known him. Like the time that Raphael showed him the snake he had made or when he crafted the stars. But it didn't look like he smiled much anymore. He smiled plenty at The Traitor, sure. But when Gabriel had been watching from a distance a week ago, he'd still seen a lot of grimacing, frowning, and at least one sneer.

He had changed so much. Did Hell know? No, Gabriel doubted it. Otherwise Raphael wouldn't have been stationed on Earth long-term. So presumably nobody other than Gabriel, The Traitor, and Raphael himself knew the truth.

He should have started looking for Raphael as soon as the smoke cleared. When Uriel told him that she'd lost track of him during the battle. But instead he'd pushed that aside and focused on reorganizing Heaven post-Fall. He could have helped him. Who knows what Raphael had been through? What kind of brother was he, just abandoning his youngest sibling like that?

He dug his hands in harder, until pain started to spread across his eyes and he decided to flip over and press his face into one of the stiff pillows instead.

Fuck. He was a horrible brother, if he was being completely honest. He hadn't even worried about Raphael when he first went missing. That was a shitty thing to do, really. Fuck. He hadn't even wondered if something could be wrong until _after Eden._ No wonder Raphael had gone and started to spend time with The Traitor. He had been practically abandoned by everyone else, humans had short lifespans, and The Traitor was the only other ethereal or occult being on Earth full-time.

Fuck. He'd fucked up big time. Gabriel dug his hands into his hair and let out a muffled scream into the pillow. 

He was broken from the train of thought by a small _ping_ off to his right. Gabriel groggily sat up. His eyes were leaking, were those tears? He'd never cried before. He wiped them on his sleeve and reached over to pluck up the small glass square that all Angels generally carried on them.

_Reminder: Meeting in Heaven in 2 hours. _

Oh yeah, _that. _

Shit. What was he going to say?

_"Hey yeah, how has your week been? Anyway Raphael is a demon now." _That sounded horrible. He'd have to think of a better way to phrase it-

...

Or...

He could just not tell them? Say nothing new had turned up, and talk to Raphael on his own. That sounded like a better plan. Sure, lying was a sin but Angels committed small sins all the time. That was nothing new.

It would be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is still being really shitty in this chapter tbh, hes getting better but hes still a dick, but i promise he'll get better in 3 and 4


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gabriel REALLY fucking hates Aziraphale. hes also being really shitty about the whole crowley/raphael thing, he really does care about him but hes not dealing with this in a way that is even vaguely healthy
> 
> knock john fort: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maunsell_Forts#Knock_John_Fort_(U4)
> 
> also!! zira gets a brief pov! and sorry btw if i use any of the american terms for things instead of the english ones, im american ; - ;

Gabriel knew that he had to handle this very, very carefully.

Raphael most certainly didn't want to talk to him. If not before, then certainly after the whole failed executions nonsense. And he had a feeling that his little brother wouldn't be particularly happy about Gabriel digging through his things and spying on him and The Traitor.

Whether or not Raphael wanted to talk, they still had to have the conversation.

Maybe, just maybe, he could convince Raphael that he _didn't _have to be all lonely on Earth. He could leave this little... stint with The Traitor behind and the Archangel siblings could be reunited again, minus Lucifer of course. They could be a family. It would be like before the Fall. And everything would be _okay _again.

He knew he had to talk to Raphael alone, which was part of the reason why it was so _difficult. _Raphael wasn't eager to leave The Traitor's side. It was frustrating. His little brother had always been stubborn and a tad daft, but he wished that that Raphael would just... not go near The Traitor. It was very foolish of him, if not dangerous.

It had only been two weeks since he'd found out the truth, but it felt like two centuries by the time that they _finally _spent some time apart. The Traitor was going to some kind of book... thing within London, and Raphael was staying behind at The Traitor's bookshop.

With the feather he'd already taken tucked into his jacket's pocket, he went to the door to the bookshop. Giving the door a pull, he frowned as he noted that it was locked and snapped his fingers, a quick miracle unlocking it. Gabriel stepped inside and looked around, unbeknownst to him a set of runes had been set into the threshold, and on the other side of the city, an angel stiffened up, nearly dropping the rare book he had been there to collect.

He stepped into the backroom and paused.

And there he was. Gabriel's youngest sibling, fast asleep on a couch. He looked a bit different, but still so similar. He still was tall, slight, and narrowly built. And he still had the same fiery hair. But he now looked startlingly gaunt and the areas under his eyes were hollow. He'd seen him before on the airbase, sure, but that was before Gabriel had known who he was. And he hadn't been paying much attention to anyone but Adam in that moment. Now, all he could do was wonder how he'd managed to miss it before, how he'd been unable to recognize Raphael.

Something in Raphael's face twitched. Gabriel stepped back. The fallen Archangel sat up very abruptly, rubbing the side of his face, he reached out to a table beside the couch, reaching clumsily for a pair of sunglasses set there when he noticed Gabriel.

Raphael's eyes widened. They were the same color that they had been Before, but the pupils had been changed into two sharp slits down the center rather than the human-looking centered pupil. He hissed, high and long, scrambling backwards to get the couch between them.

Gabriel couldn't let Raphael run off before they talked about what had happened. He lunged forwards to close a hand around his forearm and snapped his fingers.

Aziraphale felt his heart sink as he ran into the backroom. It was just as he feared. Crowley was gone. The tartan blanket he had carefully draped over the sleeping demon was crumpled halfway on the floor and halfway still on the couch. Even his sunglasses were left behind, sitting abandoned on the nightstand.

"Crowley!" He shouted as loud as he could, with no response. "Crowley!"

Aziraphale swallowed and sat down, closing his eyes. He had to find him. Some ethereal or occult being had entered the bookshop, and now Crowley was missing. His beloved Crowley was in danger. Carefully, gingerly, he nudged a portion of himself away from the physical realm and reached out. There, Crowley's aura. He'd always recognize it. Small, like a weaker demon's, but if someone knew where to look they could see that it was far denser to make up for a smaller size. Black, blue, and red coiled tightly in on itself somewhere in the middle of the... North Sea? That was odd.

Aziraphale opened his eyes again and made for the door. He cast a quick miracle, just so any passerby wouldn't pay attention to any less-humanish things that they might see, and pulled his wings from the pocket dimension they were kept in. 

He took off.

Raphael jerked his arm free and took two long steps back. The old metal floors groaned loudly under his feet. "What do you want from me? Where are we?"

"We're in Knock John Fort." Gabriel didn't stop him from backing up this time, and pretended not to notice the way that his brother scrambled behind an old table. "An old Maunsell Fort."

"You didn't answer my first question." Raphael's chest heaved. Gabriel could see points to his teeth, and the smallest glimpse of a forked tongue. He remembered a time a long time ago, a far simpler time, when his younger brother had presented him with a snake. It looked like his new form was modeled after the animal he had modeled himself.

He didn't know how to phrase what he had to say, so he just reached into his pocket and pulled out the feather. A look of realization dawned on Raphael's face. Realization turned to shock, then to horror.

"No..."

"Raph-"

"Don't!" Raphael hissed, serpentine. "Don't you dare."

"You're my brother!" Gabriel took a few steps forward. "We made the stars together, we're a family, Raphael."

"Stop it!" Raphael's voice grew shrill, almost pained. "I _Fell, _Gabriel. The angel you knew is as good as dead."

"Y-"

"I don't know why you're here." Raphael's voice took on a hiss. "Y' promissssed to leave ussss alone. Me n' Azssiraphale."

"Raphael, I just want you help you." He took a few more strides so they were closer, and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay."

"My _name-_" The fallen angel pushed Gabriel away, the floor complained with a loud creak. "Is Crowley. _Crow-ley."_

Gabriel paused.

"Crowley." He said slowly. "I- I'm sorry. For what- I've- I've put you through some bad things. And I'm sorry for being so dismissive and distant in the time shortly before the Fall, I regret nothing nearly as much as I regret the way I've treated you. I've been a bad brother, I really have."

"I don't care about what you've done to me." Crowley's voice was low. "You've hardly done much of anything to me. But Aziraphale? You've hurt him. I love him, and you've hurt him."

A deep weight settled into Gabriel's stomach. Guilt and shame, he'd been feeling a lot of that these fast few weeks, and now they were back with a vengeance.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm so, so sorry for everything I have done to the both of you. I fucked up."

Crowley opened his mouth to say something, but the floor let out an ear-splitting screech.

Gabriel stumbled as the whole structure gave a huge jerk, and _huh maybe doing this on the roof of a place that hasn't been maintained in over 60 years was a bad idea. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woAH cliffhanger??
> 
> gabriel starts actually being a good person next chapter promise


End file.
